The Perfect Song.

o draw me 

o draw me away

messiah today

to your presence to stay

jesus now change me

and mould me

that i can be

evermore true to thee.

i can't get this chorus out of my mind.

P.S i'll upload the pic tmr DEFINITELY.

matter of the heart.

Desire.

  i'm getting my baby tmr. heh stay tuned.

to keep saying and not do,

makes your words weigh nothing.

Answer me.

  do i still carry on? the odds are.. are there even odds?

answer me, answer me.

The Awakening.

 ahh. it has all come to an end. the secret stuff, the here nor there. the left and right. the hot and cold. i came to learn about things i didn't know or realize myself. i guess this is one of those point of realization that yes you messed up, you faltered and you gotta do what you really gotta do. 

  1st issue.

 i guessed i did make an agreement, i figured if i said it, i'd do it. the purpose of it all, the reason why everything was not so smooth and perfect. the end result that we are all looking towards, how pleasant and wonderful will it be. the promise that you made which you never fail to compromise. its just time to fix up things that you broke.

  2nd issue.

 i was deluding myself all these years. thinking the world and the people close to me are revolving around me. i am actually revolving on the same orbit with them, just far far behind. knowing that without them, i have nobody else to turn to. knowing that i'm a jerk to be with, a bum to mix around with, in short, a douchebag. i claim to know much, but in fact there's so much more to know. i should really stop applying unreasonable pressure, creating something out of nothing and stop letting my ego delude me. sorry guys, sorry for being a douchebag. 

 

  3rd issue.

 it's about time to do something about my wants. i plainly say them too much and am not doing anything about it. about the recent thinking and chatting with ppl around me, i have 4 working limbs and a quick brain. i should do something more constructive than these douchey stuff that dun get me anywhere. i'm glad i realized it. hard or easy way, i'm glad i did. time to wake up, time to move, time to glorify.

help me to stand up each day,

help me to fight a good fight,

help me to not just survive,

help me to let your love show,

help me to walk in your love,

help me to sing a new song,

help me to stay by your side,

help me to always be true,

help me, help me, help me,

cause all i need is you.

thank you for The Awakening.

The not so smooth, yet fun but not fun journey.

 when all else fails, again, again and yet again. what happens next? ;D

tell me something i don't know.

Idiots.

  who, would ever imagine, us to be friends, or rather brothers. we could never hide anything from one another, we were close. things happen, we run to one another. we came out of it together. we fell together, we went up together. the so many sparks we had, glued us closer and made us sharper both individually and as a whole. we said we were one of the best cliques, saying and doing is hard indeed. but with the recent happenings, made me feel insecure even when I'm with you guys. that i can't even be myself, that i dun even know which side you guys are on. lol the closer people are to you, the harder the damage done. yes i might be oversensitive, but it's just how i feel. every time we're together, the atmosphere is just weird. it's not like before, it is never the same. do you even know how to empathize with me? talk to me. settle this. save me from torment.

save our souls.

amen

Lifetime.

 its not just a serial, a movie, a trilogy. its a lifetime thing. I'm prepared, prepared for the many things that will happen, that will make us stronger, individually and together. lets do it.

be the foundation of it all, O Lord.

Thoughts.

  amazed by the so many thoughts running through my mind. even now i'm unsure of the many decisions i have to make. never have i felt this way before. i was thinking about if to me, she was a best friend or something more. this word, soulmate came into my mind. i googled it and found the perfect explanation and definition to this whole thing. i was confused at first, but i think, yes its gonna be so hard and different but i guess, it's a risk worth risking. 

i guess its a yes.

we will survive!

Doubts.

 i never once doubted myself. therefore don't doubt me.

just believe, for Him, for me, for us.

Exile II

 Exile is really boring.

i need a fast forward button.

Exile.

 3 months on exile, surviving on food that was eaten the last 3 weeks.

 keep us strong, amen.

Unconditional Love.

the past 3 weeks has been a roller-coaster ride. there were happy, sad, angry, fun crazy and lovely moments. i know and i know, that i found the one and each time i can meet her. its like giving a kid sweets, the kind of happiness and content that i felt. i can safely say, i never felt like this before. after knowing what you been through, i became more determined to want to take care of you. i realized the importance of you in my life. yes some may say its short, but i say it's all planned. never did we expect it to be you and me. lol its simply wonderful how God works. like i said before, if i never wanted to go long term, i would have stopped halfway. like fiona said too, if you never love that person, you won't even feel the pain.

another point is, shaun lee is not someone who shows you the other sides of me. but the fact that i did meant you're someone different, someone special. motivated, inspired and encouraged by you i definitely am. carrot cake of love, is a thing to remember. the tears i shed in front of you is another. the next 3 months, a test of time. i just cant wait for it to come, a relationship that is righteous and pure before the eyes of the Lord and his ppl. when i tell you, you're my rib, let me be the guy, i'll be there, it was from the heart of hearts. i manipulated countless ppl to get what i wanted before, likewise i also manipulated you, but not with fear, guilt or hatred. but with love and purest of love.

i love you, girl.

O lord O lord,

i kneel before your throne,

i ask of your strength,

i ask of you to teach me,

to teach me how to love,

so unconditionally,

i know i wavered,

but now i'm back,

stronger and better.

i love you Lord.

amen.

who you are, not what you did.

I Said.

I said, i'll be there.
I said, i won't mind.
I said, I'm the one.
I said, i love you.

therefore,

give me your trust.
give me your hand.
give me your heart.
give me,
your all.



Let me be the one.

Complicated.

 i knew it was complicated, but i now know how complicated is the complication.

I'll clear your name.

I promise.

Simple.

  in the toughest of situations, she reminded me that she is with me. oh God, oh God, I'm happy.

Decree of Lee.

  down and out i am now,

  rich and famous i am not,

laid back and slack i am still,

despise and detest me for what i am now,

time will tell who i will become,

hard work and effort i will put in,

lifestyle of the rich and famous i will lead,

for a destiny so great He said i will have,

there, with them, her and Him, i will go.

Amen.

what a roller-coaster joyride it has been,

yes we will tide it together,

yes we will come out of it stronger,

yes we will grow together,

yes we will be together,

yes i believe,

yes i do.

Thoughts.

  Sometimes, are perceptions, assumptions and conclusions about you really so important? lol i really don't need to bother about how you look at me. i have the best group of friends that knows me. sometimes its all that matters, like unless you're impt to me, it doesn't really bother me. i'm not a jay chou or a michael jackson, i wont lose support because of what i chose and did and i have nothing to lose. lol the decisions i make, are the decisions I make. consequences, end result be it good or bad. its me that will bear it. chill out. its not some grave mistake like drugs, murder and robbery. lol don't be provoked by my post. i'm just me. oh God save us. -_-

Rely on me.

 Jackson 5 - I'll be there.

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, Ill be there

Ill reach out my hand to you, Ill have faith in all you do
Just call my name and Ill be there

Ill be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, Im so glad that I found you
Ill be there with a love thats strong
Ill be your strength, Ill keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well thats all Im after
Whenever you need me, Ill be there
Ill be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and Ill be there

If you should ever find someone new, I know hed better be good to you
cause if he doesnt, Ill be there
Dont you know, baby, yeah yeah
Ill be there, Ill be there, just call my name, Ill be there

rely on me.