Heart.

a heart is like a room, if you open it to find that it's already occupied. search for another one.

where's my room?

Enough is Enough.

i've been running around in circles only to find, nothing.

trust me,

i am tired.

Please.

please know you always caught my eye

please know i always wanted a chance

please know i'm not here for a game

please know i'm mean everything i say

please know i'm different from the rest

please know i'm paying attention to everything

please know your importance to me

please know your presence is my motivation

please know your smile makes my day

please know you're always on my mind

please know you're always beautiful

please know you're always good enough

please know you're never alone

please know you're the last

please know you're my rainbow

please know you're my pillar

please know you're loved

please know you're missed

please know you're needed badly

please know you're perfect

please know you won't regret

please know you won't feel sad again

please know you won't lose again

please know you can trust again

please know you can love again

please know you can open up again

please know you can have faith again

please know i am real

please know i am serious

please know i am there

please know i am missing you

please know i am waiting for you

please know i am trying my best

please know i am giving all i got

please know i am never giving up

please know i am not gonna regret

please know i am giving one last shot

please know i am shaun lee.

the last thing i want

is to wake up 30 years later

and regret not trying

not giving it a shot

not loving.

Shaun Vladimir Diamonte Lee.

i think this name sounds so cool.

i am confident.

i am handsome.

i am sexy.

i am friendly.

i am sarcastic.

i am an extremist.

i am hypocritical.

i am selective.

i am sharper than diamonds.

i am as hard as diamonds.

i am narcissistic.

i am a perfectionist.

i am reaching impossibilities.

i am here on earth for a reason.

i am not forgotten by God.

i am blessed and anointed by God.

i am good with words.

i am quick-witted.

i am unreadable.

i am able to read hearts.

i am observant.

i am wise.

i am winsome.

i am favored.

i am healthy.

i am a smoker.

i am an NSF.

i am a gentleman.

i am the only child.

i am trying to get some color.

i am in love with tattoos.

i am happy.

i am striving for perfection.

i am loved.

i am loved by God.

i am Me.

i am unstoppable.

i am Shaun Vladimir Diamonte Lee.

Diamonte.

WABLASHAKULEHLEH. i'm out and i'm out.

seriously, its different now.

my presence is my absence.

tell me please.

its been AWHILE.

after bmt has ended, now am in traits phase. where we each learn our own specialized weapons. kinda rough but have more time for ourselves now. gonna do my best like what i've always been doing since i enlisted. to do things to the best of my ability and not regret no more.

in the past month, kinda mixture of A LOT of stuff. abit here and there but i'm still alive, beaten and bruised but i'm still strong. been thinking alot, all the trainings cant beat the fatigue my mind is feeling. i guess its just another phase of life. but this time, i am determined. the day i spoke, i already knew after the first war, i have so many other wars to fight. any idiot can tell how much i'm gonna go through if i take this step, but i've started walking and i really wanna keep walking. its something that i want to have for a lifetime. aint gonna be easy but my life hadn't been easy either. just abit more won't kill me. this time i wanna do it right, i wanna do it with You, i;ve neglected You for far too long. the mark on my heart is burning, the longing is growing. i don't want just your hem, i want Your heart! never gonna let go till i get You. give me a new set of armor God, one that shines so bright there's no room for darkness.

Bless me, help me.

kick the habits

reverse the lifestyle

renew the vision

double the oil

win the hearts

& win the heart.

veni,vidi,vici

i still love You.

Untitled.

4 months of endless toil and hard work in camp, BMT has ended. we fought, we sweat, we bleed, we play, we smoke, we sleep, we trained, we pulled through together. 40 Singapore Armored Regiment(SAR) cougar company. if given another choice, i would still wanna be there with those familiar faces. thinking back, i believe we all played a big part in each other lives. one for all, all for one. now that BMT has ended, some will leave some will stay and new ones will come in. its never gonna be the same again. thank you for the sweat, the blood, the pain, the fun and the tears of joy we shed and had together. it was a hell of a 4 months.

9th april 2010, it was my passing out parade, we all came out of it as privates, no longer the same old recruits 4 months ago. as i marched out to take my award as the company best, my heart was full of joy and pride. out of 70 recruits that enlisted in my company, i emerged as the top recruit of BMT. i have average physical achievements, but thankfully, i had good leadership skills and extraordinary favor from heaven above. i marched past my parents as they were sitting in the first row, i believed they were proud of me especially my mum. we went through hell together, i let her down so many times, with grades, poor attitude and habits i picked up along the way. finally i have something to show her and make her proud of me. am enjoying my block leave till friday cos i am so unfortunate to have guard duty on saturday -_-.

recently i've been thinking a lot, or rather the feeling is getting stronger again. the same old questions i've yet to figure out, the questions that only can be answered by the ruler from heaven above. the signs that are appearing time and time again, through passages of words, movies, numbers and every single way. show me, show me L. everything that i wanna know, every step you've been leading me, tell me where does it go, tell me what i need to know. i just feel things are never so simple, I'm not complicating things myself, everything has to have a reason. in fact, i don't think my life is just that simple. i am the one. answer me please.