Lifetime.

 its not just a serial, a movie, a trilogy. its a lifetime thing. I'm prepared, prepared for the many things that will happen, that will make us stronger, individually and together. lets do it.

be the foundation of it all, O Lord.

Thoughts.

  amazed by the so many thoughts running through my mind. even now i'm unsure of the many decisions i have to make. never have i felt this way before. i was thinking about if to me, she was a best friend or something more. this word, soulmate came into my mind. i googled it and found the perfect explanation and definition to this whole thing. i was confused at first, but i think, yes its gonna be so hard and different but i guess, it's a risk worth risking. 

i guess its a yes.

we will survive!

Doubts.

 i never once doubted myself. therefore don't doubt me.

just believe, for Him, for me, for us.

Exile II

 Exile is really boring.

i need a fast forward button.

Exile.

 3 months on exile, surviving on food that was eaten the last 3 weeks.

 keep us strong, amen.

Unconditional Love.

the past 3 weeks has been a roller-coaster ride. there were happy, sad, angry, fun crazy and lovely moments. i know and i know, that i found the one and each time i can meet her. its like giving a kid sweets, the kind of happiness and content that i felt. i can safely say, i never felt like this before. after knowing what you been through, i became more determined to want to take care of you. i realized the importance of you in my life. yes some may say its short, but i say it's all planned. never did we expect it to be you and me. lol its simply wonderful how God works. like i said before, if i never wanted to go long term, i would have stopped halfway. like fiona said too, if you never love that person, you won't even feel the pain.

another point is, shaun lee is not someone who shows you the other sides of me. but the fact that i did meant you're someone different, someone special. motivated, inspired and encouraged by you i definitely am. carrot cake of love, is a thing to remember. the tears i shed in front of you is another. the next 3 months, a test of time. i just cant wait for it to come, a relationship that is righteous and pure before the eyes of the Lord and his ppl. when i tell you, you're my rib, let me be the guy, i'll be there, it was from the heart of hearts. i manipulated countless ppl to get what i wanted before, likewise i also manipulated you, but not with fear, guilt or hatred. but with love and purest of love.

i love you, girl.

O lord O lord,

i kneel before your throne,

i ask of your strength,

i ask of you to teach me,

to teach me how to love,

so unconditionally,

i know i wavered,

but now i'm back,

stronger and better.

i love you Lord.

amen.

who you are, not what you did.

I Said.

I said, i'll be there.
I said, i won't mind.
I said, I'm the one.
I said, i love you.

therefore,

give me your trust.
give me your hand.
give me your heart.
give me,
your all.



Let me be the one.

Complicated.

 i knew it was complicated, but i now know how complicated is the complication.

I'll clear your name.

I promise.

Simple.

  in the toughest of situations, she reminded me that she is with me. oh God, oh God, I'm happy.

Decree of Lee.

  down and out i am now,

  rich and famous i am not,

laid back and slack i am still,

despise and detest me for what i am now,

time will tell who i will become,

hard work and effort i will put in,

lifestyle of the rich and famous i will lead,

for a destiny so great He said i will have,

there, with them, her and Him, i will go.

Amen.

what a roller-coaster joyride it has been,

yes we will tide it together,

yes we will come out of it stronger,

yes we will grow together,

yes we will be together,

yes i believe,

yes i do.

Thoughts.

  Sometimes, are perceptions, assumptions and conclusions about you really so important? lol i really don't need to bother about how you look at me. i have the best group of friends that knows me. sometimes its all that matters, like unless you're impt to me, it doesn't really bother me. i'm not a jay chou or a michael jackson, i wont lose support because of what i chose and did and i have nothing to lose. lol the decisions i make, are the decisions I make. consequences, end result be it good or bad. its me that will bear it. chill out. its not some grave mistake like drugs, murder and robbery. lol don't be provoked by my post. i'm just me. oh God save us. -_-

Rely on me.

 Jackson 5 - I'll be there.

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, Ill be there

Ill reach out my hand to you, Ill have faith in all you do
Just call my name and Ill be there

Ill be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, Im so glad that I found you
Ill be there with a love thats strong
Ill be your strength, Ill keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well thats all Im after
Whenever you need me, Ill be there
Ill be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and Ill be there

If you should ever find someone new, I know hed better be good to you
cause if he doesnt, Ill be there
Dont you know, baby, yeah yeah
Ill be there, Ill be there, just call my name, Ill be there

rely on me.

The Test of TIME.

  we're taking it slow, nice and steady. lets go girl!

P.S just to clarify, my previous post meant that i was transferring out, i exaggerated it.

Highway to Hell.

 i said stay tuned the previous time, the ghost got busted by the ghost buster. i'm out. no more W212. boom!

the thing i can never quite get it, douchebags.

Ghost of W212.

  yes its me, i'm the ghost of W212. why so? cos i'm the pioneer of the pioneer(excluding eric sim). i've seen so many left, so many coming in, so many rising up, so many leaving the church. from single to attached, from attached to engaged and to married (ok only 1). 

it was so fun, it is still fun, and it will always be fun. i still rmb the first batch, garvin, yi chao, yi run, willabelle, santy, to the shing, david, timo chan, tian yi, not forgetting ruo yang, to the now debbie, sher, kenneth, jason, flora, pierson, brandon, joel and lionel. definitely also the 8 notorious SA guys. the so many faces and phases of W212. 

its just true that we have awesome fellowship, thats why we're so bonded and even when we see each other we still remind each other of the past. what's gonna happen this time round, god knows. i'm anxious still. will those i hold dear to me go? or will i the ghost go? lol i cant wait to find out.

stay tuned for more.

God's Toy.

  why God's Toy?

  

  sometimes, i feel God is toying with my life. the tough decisions that haunt u everyday, the not so perfect family situation. made me fairly smart but pathetically lazy. putting things in my life that seem reachable yet unreachable. showing me signs but not answering me why. letting me wait for my desires till kingdom comes. 

oh my God.. i really have no complaints even if im being toyed by you. lol sadistic maybe, but it makes life not so blunt i guess. 

no matter what, i am what i am today. the notorious, the no-lifer, the "leader" of a pack, the uprooted tree, the spoilt brat, the lazy crap, the happy go lucky, the psychotic, the toy of God. 

heh love you God. :D

Granite.

 i have been alive for 18 years, 3 months and 28 days , 3 hrs and 21mins when i typed this. 

have i been happy? yes of cos.

have i been sad? yes of cos.

have i met not so perfect people? all the time.

i have a total of 7 close friends, only 5 i can call them my "bestest".

who goes through the most shit in life? that'll be me.

then again being grinded by all that shit made me tougher in certain ways.

people that are closest to me do the most damage.

but well, i'm glad it all happened to me. PTL.

cos without these shits in my life, i won't be who i am.

a hardened heart, a heart of granite

 emotionally immune.

DILEMMA.

 ?

i've never been so negative. where is the optimist i know? 

i need the mighty man.

NINGEN*

 my favourite past time, think. i always wondered why we humans are brought into this mess? why am i stuck in this self-centered, arrogant, narcissistic organism called shaun lee. why am i seeing what i'm seeing? after much thought, each time i come up with the same conclusion, i am not brought into this mess to live in it. there must be something else to this, life is not all just about studies, results, expectations and finances. just what is it that i'm here, i feel that i am here for a reason. it just feels that i was someone great before, i'm here to accomplish something.

 i'm always questioning myself, so this is it? you're gonna live life like this? doing this everyday, then i'll feel that this is not the thing i'm supposed to do. just a thought tho. i guess the only one who can answer me is the origin of this world. but we're more distant than ever before, when i look at the same moon as i talk to Him, i still wonder if He's still listening. 

  i kinda detest this society we live in, everything is so based on results and certificates. we are forced to throw our passion away sometimes. no matter what you're interested in, some people just wouldnt be interested in what you're interested. criticism and persecution will come, so then will u still chase ur passion and be the first person to ever make it or just play it safe? lol your hands create your future.

P.S good bye NAFA, hello SIM!

*ningen refers to "humans" in japanese

EGOIST.

  i want to take over the world.

serious.