Blindeh

2010-06-05T14:50:00.001+08:00

Heart.

a heart is like a room, if you open it to find that it's already occupied. search for another one.

where's my room?

2010-05-29T19:35:00.001+08:00

Enough is Enough.

i've been running around in circles only to find, nothing.

trust me,

i am tired.

2010-05-18T04:02:00.002+08:00

Please.

please know you always caught my eye

please know i always wanted a chance

please know i'm not here for a game

please know i'm mean everything i say

please know i'm different from the rest

please know i'm paying attention to everything

please know your importance to me

please know your presence is my motivation

please know your smile makes my day

please know you're always on my mind

please know you're always beautiful

please know you're always good enough

please know you're never alone

please know you're the last

please know you're my rainbow

please know you're my pillar

please know you're loved

please know you're missed

please know you're needed badly

please know you're perfect

please know you won't regret

please know you won't feel sad again

please know you won't lose again

please know you can trust again

please know you can love again

please know you can open up again

please know you can have faith again

please know i am real

please know i am serious

please know i am there

please know i am missing you

please know i am waiting for you

please know i am trying my best

please know i am giving all i got

please know i am never giving up

please know i am not gonna regret

please know i am giving one last shot

please know i am shaun lee.

the last thing i want

is to wake up 30 years later

and regret not trying

not giving it a shot

not loving.

2010-05-09T03:09:00.002+08:00

Shaun Vladimir Diamonte Lee.

i think this name sounds so cool.

i am confident.

i am handsome.

i am sexy.

i am friendly.

i am sarcastic.

i am an extremist.

i am hypocritical.

i am selective.

i am sharper than diamonds.

i am as hard as diamonds.

i am narcissistic.

i am a perfectionist.

i am reaching impossibilities.

i am here on earth for a reason.

i am not forgotten by God.

i am blessed and anointed by God.

i am good with words.

i am quick-witted.

i am unreadable.

i am able to read hearts.

i am observant.

i am wise.

i am winsome.

i am favored.

i am healthy.

i am a smoker.

i am an NSF.

i am a gentleman.

i am the only child.

i am trying to get some color.

i am in love with tattoos.

i am happy.

i am striving for perfection.

i am loved.

i am loved by God.

i am Me.

i am unstoppable.

i am Shaun Vladimir Diamonte Lee.

2010-05-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

Diamonte.

WABLASHAKULEHLEH. i'm out and i'm out.

seriously, its different now.

my presence is my absence.

tell me please.

2010-05-02T04:07:00.003+08:00

its been AWHILE.

after bmt has ended, now am in traits phase. where we each learn our own specialized weapons. kinda rough but have more time for ourselves now. gonna do my best like what i've always been doing since i enlisted. to do things to the best of my ability and not regret no more.

in the past month, kinda mixture of A LOT of stuff. abit here and there but i'm still alive, beaten and bruised but i'm still strong. been thinking alot, all the trainings cant beat the fatigue my mind is feeling. i guess its just another phase of life. but this time, i am determined. the day i spoke, i already knew after the first war, i have so many other wars to fight. any idiot can tell how much i'm gonna go through if i take this step, but i've started walking and i really wanna keep walking. its something that i want to have for a lifetime. aint gonna be easy but my life hadn't been easy either. just abit more won't kill me. this time i wanna do it right, i wanna do it with You, i;ve neglected You for far too long. the mark on my heart is burning, the longing is growing. i don't want just your hem, i want Your heart! never gonna let go till i get You. give me a new set of armor God, one that shines so bright there's no room for darkness.

Bless me, help me.

kick the habits

reverse the lifestyle

renew the vision

double the oil

win the hearts

& win the heart.

veni,vidi,vici

i still love You.

2010-04-11T03:27:00.002+08:00

Untitled.

4 months of endless toil and hard work in camp, BMT has ended. we fought, we sweat, we bleed, we play, we smoke, we sleep, we trained, we pulled through together. 40 Singapore Armored Regiment(SAR) cougar company. if given another choice, i would still wanna be there with those familiar faces. thinking back, i believe we all played a big part in each other lives. one for all, all for one. now that BMT has ended, some will leave some will stay and new ones will come in. its never gonna be the same again. thank you for the sweat, the blood, the pain, the fun and the tears of joy we shed and had together. it was a hell of a 4 months.

9th april 2010, it was my passing out parade, we all came out of it as privates, no longer the same old recruits 4 months ago. as i marched out to take my award as the company best, my heart was full of joy and pride. out of 70 recruits that enlisted in my company, i emerged as the top recruit of BMT. i have average physical achievements, but thankfully, i had good leadership skills and extraordinary favor from heaven above. i marched past my parents as they were sitting in the first row, i believed they were proud of me especially my mum. we went through hell together, i let her down so many times, with grades, poor attitude and habits i picked up along the way. finally i have something to show her and make her proud of me. am enjoying my block leave till friday cos i am so unfortunate to have guard duty on saturday -_-.

recently i've been thinking a lot, or rather the feeling is getting stronger again. the same old questions i've yet to figure out, the questions that only can be answered by the ruler from heaven above. the signs that are appearing time and time again, through passages of words, movies, numbers and every single way. show me, show me L. everything that i wanna know, every step you've been leading me, tell me where does it go, tell me what i need to know. i just feel things are never so simple, I'm not complicating things myself, everything has to have a reason. in fact, i don't think my life is just that simple. i am the one. answer me please.

2010-03-12T18:13:00.003+08:00

Life.

the only word capable of describing my life right now is this word "Perfect".

optimist? nah, Perfectly imperfected perfectionist.

2010-02-16T06:21:00.004+08:00

Love.

Vday! a day to envy! i never ever celebrated this day with someone before, always wanted to but never did i once spent this special day with someone special.

to LOVE is hard, to say that you love someone is hard too. cos Love is a fucking strong word.

we, or rather some people tend to use the word Love so easily. when its just mere infatuation, attraction, a fond of or just an interest, ppl are already saying i love her/him. which is simply absurd. can't help to say and blog bout this, disgusts me when i see stuf like that, especially on twitter. to make clear, the "love" i'm talking about is the boy like girl kinda love, not the take care man love ya kinda love.

i dunno why i wanna blog about this either, maybe cause i'm bored? or just jealous of the happy couples that roam the streets i saw this bookout that i have to rant it all on this url page that reserved rights for me to. or both. whichever way i don't care, just how i feel about stuff i constantly see and read.

some updates bout me, i'm in the ARMY, which is known as national service(NS) that we, as singaporean men are left with no choice but to serve these two years unless you're a retard, literally. since we can't run from NS, i suggest we make the best out of it, experience everything there is to and stretch your mental and physical limits, not forgetting coming out of this hell hole, a true MAN.

i enlisted on the 11th december 2009 which falls on the same day as my birthday unfortunately. i went in with really lousy physical fitness, can't really run and never ever do sports in the past 5-10 years. my first 2.4km run i did a 14.44, which was crap of course. everything was crappy, had to adapt to the surroundings, the routine life that never ever change, the sucking it up attitude which we have to have, the harsh training that never ceases and of cos the fuckloads of responsibilities that we have. awesome thing bout humans is our ability to adapt, and so i did.

today i'm proud to say, i did adapt and i adapted well enough. my ippt went from a fail to a pass and to a silver. my 2.4km run now decreased to a 10.57 which i think is pretty not bad for me, adding the fact i smoke. and on 9th feb we had our weapon presentation at the marina barrage, it was only then i had known i was my platoon's best soldier. i had no idea how i got it but i guess i got it. No. 1 out of 24. i'm happy, but i'm not gonna stop here, i'll jump higher, i'll run faster, i'll go further, i'll reach the skies and definitely i'll be the best if not better.

for without You,

i was, am and will be,

nothing.

thank You for your grace.

2010-01-09T14:17:00.002+08:00

Army Change.

zooooom and its been a month ever since i been into army, have i changed some may ask. i did, indeed i did. physically and mentally of cos, 5 days, 3 physical training(PT) lessons per day. of cos i've become bigger? this is my third bookout, its been better than the last two i guess. but things aren't really the same anymore, i don't know how to explain. feels like i've disconnected from everyone, living my own world with my bunk mates. whats with this transition, am i going to hang out with my bunkmates more? am i gonna slowly drift from my ever strong SA clique? the topics become lesser, the actions become displeasing. this is weird. why do i think i feel more comfortable with my bunkmates sometimes.

a test of friendship? i did try to meet them and talk to them. din really seem to work. its the same, if i don't ask, nobody would. issit true that friends come, friends go? i'm starting to feel they are going under the category "church friends" than the brothers that we used to be. stuff i say now fall to the ground. feathers that follow where the wind blows. where do i go, who do i turn to? there are definitely two sides to this story. this is just my part of it.

P.S i found some colors in my little black & white world.

2009-12-26T00:21:00.003+08:00

Christmas.

it's a dull one this year, nobody to spend time with. nothing seems like christmas, everything seems like nothing. if i know it'd be like that, i would rather not book out. i figured my only fear is loneliness. FML.

happy birthday jesus.

2009-12-11T06:47:00.003+08:00

11th december 2009.

the day i turn 19 and the day i embark on my army life. i know its not gonna be easy. but ya like its part of life for a singaporean male. its gonna be 2 years, i'm gonna miss my family especially my mum and grandma, my friends, my GUYS, my guys' girls, close girl-friends like swee, fiona, peilin and GWEN. my cellgroup members, my cellgroup leaders and everyone that i know personally but is not mentioned here. i'm scared, excited yet sad. hope it'll be a breeze. special ppl to thank!

first of all, CHX!

dude, you're really the man running the show for me. help me plan this help me plan, plan for my birthday and everything. you're someone really close to my heart, tho recently little bit of i would say "misunderstandings" but ya, if u trust me. know that i have your interests at heart. even tho i'm a B, but ya all i can say is trust me.

DS!

fatty sim, i love you. you hear my every problem and gives me from a perspective i dont see from my angle. its great to have you around cos you light up the atmosphere and its really great to see u happy now. but please, if u see our footprints on that road, flee from it. you know what i mean..

FHY!

freddy! the one that amongst them most similar to me, its good to be like me, but learn the good stuff if possible. its good to have someone who's always clear headed about things and i really thank you for being the one that's most burdened for our spiritual lives. appreciate it.

EDOMANDO!

the man behind the scenes, the andrew that helps the peter. i admire your humility and undying spirit, you dont usually say no to favours. thats the best part about you, frankly its super good to know that you're a leader for this camp. you heard lots of shit from us over the years, you have what it takes to shine and do well, dont for once think of giving up. if there's one person who definitely can do anything amongst us, that person is YOU.

JC!

you excel in everything you do, that is the truth - prodigy. there's nothing u can't catch up with others, its really great to have u in the clique. cos frankly anything that comes to the physical, we have no fear cos we have u. just tune down your loud hailer, perfect.

YG!

this name is ancient, but you are the guy who knows everything single detail that happened in my life. like i said, if there's a need for my biography, you're the one who can write it best. cos ya you're like a spectator of us and especially me. just quit that.

AFRED!

you're the latest addition to the family, i really thank you so much for availing yourself for our dinners and the surprise ytd. even you have your test on the next day its still so good of you to come. i love you man. anything from now just ask us, AWAL also go. LOL JOKING.

JARED!

jared, i always say things from my heart to you. you're my first leader and no matter what i'll still respect you not cos you're just a leader but you really earned my utmost respect. i really learned alot in the past few years when i was helping you and sometimes i really got so inspired by you, i still rmb when you telling me you were tearing while msn-ing me, i got so touched and changed my perspective of you since then. thank you so much Jared. thank you for everything.

Cicilia

CC!! im so happy you came down to surprise me!! like i know u stay so far but u still made the effort to surprise me and i was inspired by you alot. knowing you have major exams and you still make time calling us and praying with us. showing us that shining for God and doing your own stuff is definitely possible. thanks CC!

GWENDOTAN

GIRL-FRIEND!! hahhaha i thank you soooo much too. the fact that you came down and surprise me with the guys, i know you're super tired cos of the camp and being a leader is tiring. i so appreciate it. and your dream of being a team leader came true! shine for GOD HOLY GWEN!!

sweeeeee.

my special friend! somehow i think we click cos we're of the same surname. but whatever, i'm so happy we got to know in CHEC. like ever since then you're always been a SA guy. hahahah i really enjoy hanging out and spending time with you always. please protect yourself and take good care of your weak body, go to school, drink water and dont smile too wide and and 10 11 11 12 11 12 10!! ok i sound like your mum, again.

LAST OF ALL, A BIG THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE THAT CAME TO SURPRISE ME!!

i'm seriously outta time, thanks kenneth, dannon, peilin and fiona! you guys are just great.

i'll see everyone in a week or so, i'll still be on twitter, so do tweet me.

2009-11-29T03:30:00.001+08:00

Bad Romance.

what a song!

it speaks to me,

2009-11-19T02:34:00.003+08:00

The way it should have been, all along.

an answer i can only refer it , absurd. what more can i say. i did my part, i've no regrets.

i will never look back.

Don't bother me, with anything.
I rule my world.

2009-11-04T07:53:00.003+08:00

11th December.

a date i always anticipated, now for new reasons.
i just can't wait, Bring it on National Service!
SHAVE MY HEAD.

swallow the ego,
shave my pride.

2009-10-03T02:55:00.008+08:00

Home.

Definitely, a home and a house are two separate things or, situations rather. a house is somewhere you go back too, to rest or relax. a home is place where you know no matter how bad sometimes life can be, its a place you know you are able to find the help that you need and a sense of belonging. i used to have a home, then it became a house then it remained a house. as of today, its 15th august on the lunar calender. 20 years ago, on this very day, my mum got married to my dad. 20 years later, its just a day to think back on how foolish a person can get. what can we say or do when things are already like that? suck it up and move on i guess. its been 3 years since that incident, a joy ride it has been. me and my mum has been given freedom? lol we've been going out more than before, drinking more than before, smoking more than before, putting tattoos more than before ( ok only 1 la), spending more than before. we only have each other and only each other, nobody to protect, to provide and to decide for us, whether we live or die, its up to us.

Again definitely, we're still alive and having a stable life. kinda rough week i had, been thinking alot. my petite other half has also been talking alot of sense to me, like my mum working so hard and studying so hard just to earn that money and i'm spending it as if we're loaded. it struck me hard, i'm sure i realised how much of a brat i was. ahhh so i did some sorting out and decided yea its just time to do something bout it.

Then again definitely, my petite other half has been a big help and support to me. i'm just so thankful for her, being patient and sometimes tolerating my bad habits. thank GOD with all my heart. my mum and her has been getting along smoothly also. crazy mum gave her shoes but told me to take a dollar from her because of the superstition, but i charged 50cents instead, and mummy also thought of buying a bag for her. haha what a lovely sight. PRAISE GOD!

Family @ wedding dinner
this is HOME.

me & smexy anti-aging mum.
psst, she doesn't use skin products!!

me and petite other half.
STOP DRINKING BABE!

So life has been great, and funky. happy and contented with the little things i have. looking forward to the future and definitely i wouldn't want to end up in his* shoes. heh live life, love life. ciao~

OHOHOHOH, i forgot. for girls who love shopping and guys who love to splurge and spoil your girls. please come down to the shop my mum's helping out at, i guarantee you they have good and IN stuff. believe me, i was a fashion student and still a fashion lover.

here are some sneak pics of their new stock :

this is not for sale,
just what the lady boss bought for her.
i mean dangg, she has good taste right?
super cool one of a kind skull bag.

another bag that my mum got from the shop,
super cool, black simple yet studded.
WILD~~

THANKS FOR READING.
IF YOU WANNA KNOW WHERE IS THE SHOP, ASK ME.
EMAIL ME @ haruko-kaito@hotmail.com

bye.

2009-09-17T03:28:00.003+08:00

Family Guy!

did things that are out of the norm, for me especially.

1st, we baked a cheesecake! SUPER COOL. its a joy to see how different items can be combined into something.
unique experience for me. well its edible, but definitely needs improvement xD. my ever crazy wild joyful beautiful girlfriend came over and we stayed in the kitchen for hours! super tasking but worth it! especially when my mum got to see her for the first time. haha she's ok with her, even asked her along for my cousin's wedding dinner next wednesday! SWEET. thank God.

2nd, i washed all the dishes and utensils, instruments, equipments, tools or whatever you call it after baking, the baking bowl and everything. i somehow feel happy by doing so, making sure every cm of it is cleaned up. so not shaun lee, but i guess its just another side i dont get to see even. lol.

3rd, been sleeping earlier and waking up earlier. man this is new to me, usually i sleep when the sun is up and wake up when the sun is down but lately. i'm a normal earthling! no more martian lifestyle!

ahhh.. life has been great so far, still chasing that dumb boss for my pay, worked from july 5th to 14th and i havent seen 1 cent of my pay. kinda cool. should check out MOM websites soon ;x.

really thank God for that ever crazy forever in thought petite sweet smiling girl standing beside me all the way. she's everything i prayed for in the past. i've changed pretty much ever since i'm with her, well maybe only she knows but yeah! going strong, hoping one day we will serve the Lord together.

Lets go babe!
To Eternity & Beyond!! ;D

2009-09-01T00:29:00.004+08:00

Update!!

i know you guys are brainwashed already to knowing that i have a tattoo, its been there for almost a month already. cos my dumb browser has some problems so i can't really blog, but PTL now its back!

first of all, as of 23/08/09 I AM OFFICIALLY ATTACHED TO MISS FLORA CHENG XINYI.

dam of cos i'm happy!

we gone through crap, still going through crap and definitely still gonna go through crap in future, come what may, our trust is in God. i'm happy, seriously happy. life's still good after all!

i've been praying and praying for a change in my life, the kicking of habits, the pure relationship, the spiritual disciplines. super cool man, i'm so gonna get that book by pst phil! right babe?

next up, i got this super afro wig over my brain. believe it or not, got it permed for free at home by my lovely mum. i've been getting alot of attention, some good some bad tho. but yea i don't care, i'm still the same shaun lee just with the afro hair. been doing alittle bit more than i was in the past 5 months, its cool, planning for upcoming cg outreach and many more little little stuff. but dang you bet i'm happy, i love the little things.

i'm climbing higher

i'm jumping further

i'm praying harder

i'm getting better!

Ps, SA she's your da sao.

stay tuned for THE meeting.

2009-08-06T00:52:00.004+08:00

TATTOO.

NOTE.

THE FOLLOWING IMAGES MAYBE TOO HOT,

OR YOU MAY FIND IT IMPROPER.

FOR NEGATIVE COMMENTS,

SAVE IT.

cross = jesus, duh.

23 = my favorite number,

things that are impt to me,

eg. my mum.

her bday is on the 23rd of dec.

a sexier pose of shaun lee...

what can i say? sexy me.

THATS ALL.

THANK YOU.

PRAISE GOD.

LOVE YOU.

2009-08-02T02:12:00.002+08:00

Love.

teach me how to love and not ask for anything in return, please Lord.

2009-07-31T01:54:00.003+08:00

Once Again.

we can't turn back time, even if we can i'd still prefer it to be this way. i caught valuable experiences and learnt lessons not everyone is given a chance to have. i guess i am different, i guess there's just something different in my life, i guess i will do it. i will face my destiny, like how i spoke that night, like how i did before, it sinks into hearts, it wakes the sleep, it raises the dead. how can i forsake such a gift? thank You for making me like that, yes i think so differently, but if i don't do so, i'm not shaun lee. You make me feel so important, with so much bad stuff, comes the good lessons and the unique experiences, the unique point of views, the complicated mind. You moved me yet again, You won me over again, i concede.

i just want to see how You will see

i just want to know how You think

i just want to love how You love

i just want to lead how You lead

i just want to do what You do

i just want You.

p.s i'm gonna get inked!! yay ;D

2009-07-28T01:49:00.002+08:00

Problems & Solutions.

zoom zoom zoom. next thing i know, i feel i'm in the deepest of shit. but then again, from another perspective, i'm not. despite all these shitty stuff, thoughts spun through my mind like a tornado.

its just a point of time in life that i know its time to maybe make a change. sometimes you just need to take time to do it, but you expect quick results because the people around you thinks its easy and expects you to change in the fastest possible time. sorry, i was never near perfection and i never will be. i too want to change, but when you're going through it, its tough as hell, you shiver, you shake, you get cranky all the time, you don't think positive. all i'm asking is, think maybe how hard is it before making any comment at all. what i really need, is encouragement and motivation, not condemnation. i just need God, nothing else.

help me,

take me out of here.

2009-07-15T01:40:00.002+08:00

Updates.

where is shaun lee?

this hopefully, is one of the many questions asked during svc, leader's meeting and bs. haha i've been doing things i thought i never will do. i was working as this balloon inflater, hoister, cleaner and trigger-er. bao ga liao liao kinda job with edo intro-ed by deborah chan, yes the beauty queen. got to know good people, bad people and saw a glimpse of the real cruel world. anyway... to me, surviving throughout the whole job thing, is a breakthrough already, i have never start and finished something before, especially a job. i learnt a lot through this, thank you Lord!

btw, i went for my NS medical check-up, temporary PES D. PTL!!!

ps i need favor!!

i love you.

2009-07-12T03:54:00.002+08:00

the helpless gardener.

no matter how much effort the gardener put in growing the plant,

it seemed as if it is always withering,

the gardener felt helpless cos all the other 100 plants were the same,

he just hoped the 101th plant would be different,

so he was persistent about it and never gave up.

p.s i love you.

2009-07-11T04:24:00.004+08:00

the Good Fight.

the battle of the mind

the battle of the flesh

the doubts that sparked

the assumptions to be erupted

the right is the wrong

the wrong is the right

a curse i am carrying

a curse i want to lift

i never felt like this

i never knew love

i hate this part

i hate myself.

2009-07-03T04:52:00.002+08:00

Like father, like son.

i pray i wont be like my dad,

i pray ppl will never be like me.

in the end, our example are examples

you should never follow.

i am such a puzzle.

2009-07-02T03:18:00.003+08:00

Me.

green among the red,

all are sweet but i am sour,

same heart but of different taste,

because of me hearts are lifted,

because of me hearts are sunken,

i ask,

who am i?

and

why am i me??

am i still the apple of your eye?

how much more can i?

2009-06-28T03:57:00.003+08:00

Memoirs.

the rotten mask i have to put on,

the smile i can so easily put on,

the words i declare and confess like running water,

the feelings i buried deep under,

the thoughts i pushed so far aside,

the topics i would so often shun,

the you that i discarded far far away.

a phrase that sparked off chains of thoughts and recollections,

a chance to tell it all over again,

a feeling i haven't felt for what seems like eternity,

a tear i never thought i will shed again,

a number of questions that flashed through like bullets.

i can only ask,

who are you now?

what is your reason?

when are u coming back?

where did the you i knew went?

how did you change so fast?

deep down and under,

i love you pop,

i wished my love for you is blind.

2009-06-26T06:32:00.003+08:00

the WORLD.

even assholes cry

even assholes feel lonely

even assholes feel sad

even assholes feel scared

even assholes get tired

even assholes have feelings

even assholes post random posts.

2009-06-22T02:48:00.004+08:00

Mind-Blowing!

today was such a fruitful day altogether! first of all, I'm to my beloved usher ministry. coolest thing ever, i was allocated to greeting people at the door. such a timely allocation, doing it all over again from the start. there was this usher standing in front of me, halfway when there wasn't many people, i waved at him and showed him my prized buckle as well, i then we forward and did a brother brother punch with him. hahahah awesome how what we wear can connect people! i also helped out at sound today! was an awesome experience, i knew nuts about it but managed to pull through without any technical faults. altho there were a few hiccups but PRAISE GOD! we pulled through.

one life

one goal

one shot

its all for You.

then came the father's day service, i watched the drama. i can't help but tear also, putting myself into "ah boy"'s shoes. seeing how his dad was trying his best but was misunderstood by "ah boy", the dad couldn't help but say that he wasn't fit to be his father. like how my dad didn't have alot of income but still somehow get me my iPhone, it was same as that martin guitar. also thinking how will it be like if my dad was lying there, will i still have that biased opinion against him? as pastor preached and as he gave the altar call, as i hear the words he said. that sometimes altho we have a dad, we're living like we do not have one. i guess being shaun lee, a face loving egoist. i would often want to show that i will still be alright without a father by me, but today during the service, i asked myself if he didn't leave, things might have been better? i really do not know, ain't really a nice thing to be in a father-absent family.

help me to not think like a child

help me to think like You.

2009-06-21T00:07:00.002+08:00

But, for what?

Nothing ever happens without a reason.

Definitely, we as humans. throughout our years in life, we experience the good and bad of life. things that make us jump up and down in joy, things that make us cry and complain why is everything so hard. but if you think back, everything that happened be it good or bad. it led you to a certain something good in life. for me, if i didn't indulge myself heavily in this online game called "Ragnarok Online" in secondary school after being influenced by hikaru. i wouldn't have known Edwin, han yong and Peter. because of the game, we got closer through the game. if i never play the game and got myself entangled in a relationship, i would never have stepped in city harvest.

time went by, those who played the game with me and in my school were praising and worshipping God beside me in church. coolest thing ever. because of that game, i made wonderful friends. know a wonderful father, a wonderful God. if my dad didn't leave the family, me and my mum wouldn't be as strong as we are today. as funky and as open as well.

so i guess, everything did and will happen for a reason. as humans, we are only revealed that much. my point is, the next time something bad happens or maybe it is happening now, don't feel down and discouraged, for its meant for greatness.

His master plan is something we can never comprehend.

2009-06-18T02:18:00.003+08:00

Not my life but Yours.

i've faltered, i've strayed from you, i've lost consciousness. I'm wrong, about everything i did and decided. take my life away, just take me away. i've had enough of me. today, my life don't belong to me, but solely to You alone. I'm sorry, i hope You still love me. I love You.

yay! darwin and hikaru are back. life is quiet without them, without their jokes. glad they are back safely too. heh. what can i say, tons of things happened when they're away. i can only say, i learnt a fair bit. i don't want to be the same.

just got my withdrawal letter from NAFA, gonna see a doctor regarding my glass spine. praying for favor in NS. went for AFV at riverwalk! fantastica, in season for a muddleheaded guy like me. like a mirror i checked myself once again, i guess i have to also be narcissistic on the inside.

Father's day is coming, a day to remember how much of a man he was. naturally because of the genes i inherited, i'll be like him. i pray i'll change, i pray i'll still love him.

please break me

please crucify me

please kill me

please dwell in me

please still love me.

please.

2009-06-16T04:39:00.002+08:00

Perfect Imperfection II

a dog that returned to its vomit, again.

i'm sorry,

i knew,

yet i faltered,

i wanna change,

i really want.

i disappointed You.

break me,

mould me,

change me.

2009-06-14T01:39:00.002+08:00

Perfect Imperfection.

yes, I'm everything but perfect.

what they want, i cannot do.

what they expect, i cannot give.

what THEY want me to be, i will never be.

what THEY are not happy about, i cannot change.

I'm the Perfect Imperfection.

to hell with them.

lol I've had enough.

I've reached the limit.

I'm back to loving just myself and You.

like the good old times, like the good old times Lord.

2009-06-04T03:38:00.001+08:00

I'm Dead.

Paranoia killed me.

i killed myself,

how cool is that? ;D

2009-06-03T02:22:00.005+08:00

Tomorrow Came.

My baby!

i wanna play, i wanna play, i wanna play, i wanna play!

she has a twin!

yay i'll be working on sat! yay prayer come true 8 per hour. 1 day job but better than nothing! money money money.

2009-05-31T03:23:00.002+08:00

The Perfect Song.

o draw me

o draw me away

messiah today

to your presence to stay

jesus now change me

and mould me

that i can be

evermore true to thee.

i can't get this chorus out of my mind.

P.S i'll upload the pic tmr DEFINITELY.

matter of the heart.

2009-05-29T03:57:00.002+08:00

Desire.

i'm getting my baby tmr. heh stay tuned.

to keep saying and not do,

makes your words weigh nothing.

2009-05-28T02:24:00.001+08:00

Answer me.

do i still carry on? the odds are.. are there even odds?

answer me, answer me.

2009-05-26T02:22:00.002+08:00

The Awakening.

ahh. it has all come to an end. the secret stuff, the here nor there. the left and right. the hot and cold. i came to learn about things i didn't know or realize myself. i guess this is one of those point of realization that yes you messed up, you faltered and you gotta do what you really gotta do.

1st issue.

i guessed i did make an agreement, i figured if i said it, i'd do it. the purpose of it all, the reason why everything was not so smooth and perfect. the end result that we are all looking towards, how pleasant and wonderful will it be. the promise that you made which you never fail to compromise. its just time to fix up things that you broke.

2nd issue.

i was deluding myself all these years. thinking the world and the people close to me are revolving around me. i am actually revolving on the same orbit with them, just far far behind. knowing that without them, i have nobody else to turn to. knowing that i'm a jerk to be with, a bum to mix around with, in short, a douchebag. i claim to know much, but in fact there's so much more to know. i should really stop applying unreasonable pressure, creating something out of nothing and stop letting my ego delude me. sorry guys, sorry for being a douchebag.

3rd issue.

it's about time to do something about my wants. i plainly say them too much and am not doing anything about it. about the recent thinking and chatting with ppl around me, i have 4 working limbs and a quick brain. i should do something more constructive than these douchey stuff that dun get me anywhere. i'm glad i realized it. hard or easy way, i'm glad i did. time to wake up, time to move, time to glorify.

help me to stand up each day,

help me to fight a good fight,

help me to not just survive,

help me to let your love show,

help me to walk in your love,

help me to sing a new song,

help me to stay by your side,

help me to always be true,

help me, help me, help me,

cause all i need is you.

thank you for The Awakening.

2009-05-24T03:22:00.002+08:00

The not so smooth, yet fun but not fun journey.

when all else fails, again, again and yet again. what happens next? ;D

tell me something i don't know.

2009-05-23T04:51:00.004+08:00

Idiots.

who, would ever imagine, us to be friends, or rather brothers. we could never hide anything from one another, we were close. things happen, we run to one another. we came out of it together. we fell together, we went up together. the so many sparks we had, glued us closer and made us sharper both individually and as a whole. we said we were one of the best cliques, saying and doing is hard indeed. but with the recent happenings, made me feel insecure even when I'm with you guys. that i can't even be myself, that i dun even know which side you guys are on. lol the closer people are to you, the harder the damage done. yes i might be oversensitive, but it's just how i feel. every time we're together, the atmosphere is just weird. it's not like before, it is never the same. do you even know how to empathize with me? talk to me. settle this. save me from torment.

save our souls.

amen

2009-05-22T03:27:00.003+08:00

Lifetime.

its not just a serial, a movie, a trilogy. its a lifetime thing. I'm prepared, prepared for the many things that will happen, that will make us stronger, individually and together. lets do it.

be the foundation of it all, O Lord.

2009-05-21T03:03:00.004+08:00

Thoughts.

amazed by the so many thoughts running through my mind. even now i'm unsure of the many decisions i have to make. never have i felt this way before. i was thinking about if to me, she was a best friend or something more. this word, soulmate came into my mind. i googled it and found the perfect explanation and definition to this whole thing. i was confused at first, but i think, yes its gonna be so hard and different but i guess, it's a risk worth risking.

i guess its a yes.

we will survive!

2009-05-20T03:17:00.002+08:00

Doubts.

i never once doubted myself. therefore don't doubt me.

just believe, for Him, for me, for us.

2009-05-19T18:59:00.001+08:00

Exile II

Exile is really boring.

i need a fast forward button.

2009-05-16T05:14:00.002+08:00

Exile.

3 months on exile, surviving on food that was eaten the last 3 weeks.

keep us strong, amen.

2009-05-14T03:32:00.005+08:00

Unconditional Love.

the past 3 weeks has been a roller-coaster ride. there were happy, sad, angry, fun crazy and lovely moments. i know and i know, that i found the one and each time i can meet her. its like giving a kid sweets, the kind of happiness and content that i felt. i can safely say, i never felt like this before. after knowing what you been through, i became more determined to want to take care of you. i realized the importance of you in my life. yes some may say its short, but i say it's all planned. never did we expect it to be you and me. lol its simply wonderful how God works. like i said before, if i never wanted to go long term, i would have stopped halfway. like fiona said too, if you never love that person, you won't even feel the pain.

another point is, shaun lee is not someone who shows you the other sides of me. but the fact that i did meant you're someone different, someone special. motivated, inspired and encouraged by you i definitely am. carrot cake of love, is a thing to remember. the tears i shed in front of you is another. the next 3 months, a test of time. i just cant wait for it to come, a relationship that is righteous and pure before the eyes of the Lord and his ppl. when i tell you, you're my rib, let me be the guy, i'll be there, it was from the heart of hearts. i manipulated countless ppl to get what i wanted before, likewise i also manipulated you, but not with fear, guilt or hatred. but with love and purest of love.

i love you, girl.

O lord O lord,

i kneel before your throne,

i ask of your strength,

i ask of you to teach me,

to teach me how to love,

so unconditionally,

i know i wavered,

but now i'm back,

stronger and better.

i love you Lord.

amen.

who you are, not what you did.

2009-05-13T04:20:00.002+08:00

I Said.

I said, i'll be there.
I said, i won't mind.
I said, I'm the one.
I said, i love you.

therefore,

give me your trust.
give me your hand.
give me your heart.
give me,
your all.

Let me be the one.

2009-05-12T17:40:00.002+08:00

Complicated.

i knew it was complicated, but i now know how complicated is the complication.

I'll clear your name.

I promise.

2009-05-10T03:05:00.002+08:00

Simple.

in the toughest of situations, she reminded me that she is with me. oh God, oh God, I'm happy.

2009-05-08T02:31:00.002+08:00

Decree of Lee.

down and out i am now,

rich and famous i am not,

laid back and slack i am still,

despise and detest me for what i am now,

time will tell who i will become,

hard work and effort i will put in,

lifestyle of the rich and famous i will lead,

for a destiny so great He said i will have,

there, with them, her and Him, i will go.

Amen.

what a roller-coaster joyride it has been,

yes we will tide it together,

yes we will come out of it stronger,

yes we will grow together,

yes we will be together,

yes i believe,

yes i do.

2009-05-07T03:55:00.005+08:00

Thoughts.

Sometimes, are perceptions, assumptions and conclusions about you really so important? lol i really don't need to bother about how you look at me. i have the best group of friends that knows me. sometimes its all that matters, like unless you're impt to me, it doesn't really bother me. i'm not a jay chou or a michael jackson, i wont lose support because of what i chose and did and i have nothing to lose. lol the decisions i make, are the decisions I make. consequences, end result be it good or bad. its me that will bear it. chill out. its not some grave mistake like drugs, murder and robbery. lol don't be provoked by my post. i'm just me. oh God save us. -_-

2009-05-05T04:12:00.003+08:00

Rely on me.

Jackson 5 - I'll be there.

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, Ill be there

Ill reach out my hand to you, Ill have faith in all you do
Just call my name and Ill be there

Ill be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, Im so glad that I found you
Ill be there with a love thats strong
Ill be your strength, Ill keep holding on

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness, well thats all Im after
Whenever you need me, Ill be there
Ill be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name and Ill be there

If you should ever find someone new, I know hed better be good to you
cause if he doesnt, Ill be there
Dont you know, baby, yeah yeah
Ill be there, Ill be there, just call my name, Ill be there

rely on me.

2009-04-29T03:32:00.002+08:00

The Test of TIME.

we're taking it slow, nice and steady. lets go girl!

P.S just to clarify, my previous post meant that i was transferring out, i exaggerated it.

2009-04-26T03:28:00.004+08:00

Highway to Hell.

i said stay tuned the previous time, the ghost got busted by the ghost buster. i'm out. no more W212. boom!

the thing i can never quite get it, douchebags.

2009-04-24T02:56:00.002+08:00

Ghost of W212.

yes its me, i'm the ghost of W212. why so? cos i'm the pioneer of the pioneer(excluding eric sim). i've seen so many left, so many coming in, so many rising up, so many leaving the church. from single to attached, from attached to engaged and to married (ok only 1).

it was so fun, it is still fun, and it will always be fun. i still rmb the first batch, garvin, yi chao, yi run, willabelle, santy, to the shing, david, timo chan, tian yi, not forgetting ruo yang, to the now debbie, sher, kenneth, jason, flora, pierson, brandon, joel and lionel. definitely also the 8 notorious SA guys. the so many faces and phases of W212.

its just true that we have awesome fellowship, thats why we're so bonded and even when we see each other we still remind each other of the past. what's gonna happen this time round, god knows. i'm anxious still. will those i hold dear to me go? or will i the ghost go? lol i cant wait to find out.

stay tuned for more.

2009-04-18T05:10:00.003+08:00

God's Toy.

why God's Toy?

sometimes, i feel God is toying with my life. the tough decisions that haunt u everyday, the not so perfect family situation. made me fairly smart but pathetically lazy. putting things in my life that seem reachable yet unreachable. showing me signs but not answering me why. letting me wait for my desires till kingdom comes.

oh my God.. i really have no complaints even if im being toyed by you. lol sadistic maybe, but it makes life not so blunt i guess.

no matter what, i am what i am today. the notorious, the no-lifer, the "leader" of a pack, the uprooted tree, the spoilt brat, the lazy crap, the happy go lucky, the psychotic, the toy of God.

heh love you God. :D

2009-04-08T03:19:00.003+08:00

Granite.

i have been alive for 18 years, 3 months and 28 days , 3 hrs and 21mins when i typed this.

have i been happy? yes of cos.

have i been sad? yes of cos.

have i met not so perfect people? all the time.

i have a total of 7 close friends, only 5 i can call them my "bestest".

who goes through the most shit in life? that'll be me.

then again being grinded by all that shit made me tougher in certain ways.

people that are closest to me do the most damage.

but well, i'm glad it all happened to me. PTL.

cos without these shits in my life, i won't be who i am.

a hardened heart, a heart of granite

emotionally immune.

2009-04-06T02:30:00.003+08:00

DILEMMA.

i've never been so negative. where is the optimist i know?

i need the mighty man.

2009-03-20T04:29:00.002+08:00

NINGEN*

my favourite past time, think. i always wondered why we humans are brought into this mess? why am i stuck in this self-centered, arrogant, narcissistic organism called shaun lee. why am i seeing what i'm seeing? after much thought, each time i come up with the same conclusion, i am not brought into this mess to live in it. there must be something else to this, life is not all just about studies, results, expectations and finances. just what is it that i'm here, i feel that i am here for a reason. it just feels that i was someone great before, i'm here to accomplish something.

i'm always questioning myself, so this is it? you're gonna live life like this? doing this everyday, then i'll feel that this is not the thing i'm supposed to do. just a thought tho. i guess the only one who can answer me is the origin of this world. but we're more distant than ever before, when i look at the same moon as i talk to Him, i still wonder if He's still listening.

i kinda detest this society we live in, everything is so based on results and certificates. we are forced to throw our passion away sometimes. no matter what you're interested in, some people just wouldnt be interested in what you're interested. criticism and persecution will come, so then will u still chase ur passion and be the first person to ever make it or just play it safe? lol your hands create your future.

P.S good bye NAFA, hello SIM!

*ningen refers to "humans" in japanese

2009-03-08T02:26:00.001+08:00

EGOIST.

i want to take over the world.

serious.

2009-02-27T03:27:00.002+08:00

HOLIDAYS!!

yay! its almost holidays now, two straight weeks of break, 3 - 4 classes somewhere somedays but its sufficient. finding time to just lie down and watch the clouds go by is super hard. wednesday was my last deadline for major works this term. it was a work that was supposed to be done over a period of 7 weeks. knowing me, i have to wait till the last min, like wednesday = deadline, tuesday = work. fortunately, incredibly, miraculously, supernaturally, i made it, not alone but with two wacky guys whom i address them one as a nerd and the other as an idiot, YES its hikaru and edo!

a super huge kudos to them for spending their time with me at potong pasir mac and coffeeshop, without them i'll not be able to make it happen. i was counting down the hours to deadline, it was horrid. i hated the feeling but am enjoying right now. do well or not well, i dun really care. i did my best in that night. i went to school handed it in, lunched, cabbed home and slept at 4pm, woke up at 8am. a flat 16 hours sleep. i was counting, around 1.5 litre red bull consumed that day, maybe a ton of caffine. i made it, or WE made it. thanks guys, its you guys that make the impossible seem so easy with me, not forgetting YOU. thanks Lord, for strength and everything that happened so far.

P.S sorry lionel, i din put your name down, cos you just sticked around for awhile and confused me with your introduction. i suddenly hate japs. ;p

2009-02-12T03:27:00.003+08:00

SHAUN LEE.

(dun be disgusted by me)

hi, this is self-introductory. I'm going to be 19 this 11th DEC. I'm in NAFA year 1 now. I'm a Narcissist for sure. some say its psychological disorder but who cares, i praise myself without me knowing sometimes, it seems so natural (no kidding). i like burberry cos i dunno why, maybe i like checks. I'm a badass with good intentions. i dunno how to change this part, but like what my closest friends say, it's me. so i guess it cannot be changed, sorta trademark. I'm straightforward, i use harsh words and am hypercritical.

i observe how ppl observe others observe. so I'm hard to be lied to, i can be over-sensitive sometimes. I'm very manipulative, i can get anything i want through manipulation, disgusting but true. i'm a drop dead lazy person, every girl I'm interested in, i will compare her not with the hottest chick i know but with myself. weird and high expectations i have but it keeps me from being attached. my mum is my mother and best friend, she's the funkiest mum ever. I'm the funkiest son ever.

sometimes its always bout me, myself and I that i forget the people around me. my friends understand me the best, if you hear the good intentions through the harsh words, congrats, you do know me well. I'm never a cheesy and gentle person, its just not me. to be honest, things that really motivate me in life is, image, fame, recognition , mother and adrenaline rush. lol bye.

P.S OH, OH , I FORGOT!! I'M STILL FREE THIS VDAY. ;d

2009-02-10T02:57:00.002+08:00

BURBERRY!

i got a Burberry polo tee from my classmate for belated xmas, birthday and advanced Vday!

i feel gooooood. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~

:D:D:D:D:D!!!11!!111111!!!!1

thanks ws! rock on =p

2009-02-09T01:37:00.003+08:00

WALKING THE TALK.

"i will never backslide" , " i will never give up", " no matter what, i'll stay".

simple sentences i said, yet so difficult to do.

i wanted time on my own.

i wanted to buck up.

i wanted to score As.

i wanted to make my mum happy.

i wanted to do whatever i like.

i wanted to get higher than 0.55 GPA.

i wanted no responsibilities.

i wanted to leave.

then again,

i wanted friends.

i wanted family.

i wanted them.

i wanted love.

i wanted W212.

i wanted Him.

so,

i'm coming back.

i'm starting all over.

i'm gonna change.

i'm gonna persevere.

i'm sorry.

i'm happy.

i'm thankful.

thank you for standing beside me during this time.

just when i thought no one cared, you guys proved me wrong.

thank you for your tears. love and care.

lets go new W212~!

p.s you have to have a near death experience to know how to cherish the life you once had.

2009-02-03T02:03:00.001+08:00

VALENTINE!

yep, its the next big thing.

p.s i'm free!

2009-01-26T01:27:00.002+08:00

REUNION.

how was reunion? one of the most frequent questions you've heard.

if it went well for u, praise God!

if it went bad for you like mine, praise God too!

why was it bad?

my divorced parents went for reunion too!

my dad din breathe a word, everyone was feeling weird.

he left the table to watch tv halfway, said he was full.

sorta slept on the couch while watching tv.

i finished my portion and wanted to hang around with my cousins.

mum came in and eh he wants to go already cos of headache or stomachache.

i went, why not u and him go first? so early only. it was 9 then.

mum went, dun want la.

pissed, walked out and left the house.

boo, this is the reunion part.

things that made it worse,

my mum claimed that she din wanna have anything to do with him anymore.

females are ALWAYS soft hearted.

she paid his traffic fines today, 89 bucks.

i din feel very good about it.

he probably feigned the headache and stomachache which i felt he did.

i have to do visitations MYSELF this year. how cool is that huh?

if it wasnt because of his selfish act.

sometimes, just sometimes i will feel, why? just why is my dad like that.

God... help me to forgive!

my dad is still my dad.

p.s i hate cny!

2009-01-23T00:11:00.005+08:00

NAFA 2nd SEMESTER!!

this is the second week of school already. i still rmb the time i blogged bout the first day of sch.

this sem kinda different, maybe cause i really put in effort to write my new year resolutions. for example, not being late for school, waking up on time, not missing school, do every work on time, spend more time with my classmates and schoolmates. so far so good i can say. i haven't been late for school yet, i haven't wake up late yet, i din miss a day of school yet, i din miss a deadline, i spent lots of time with my classmates and schoolmates! good work shaun, 100%!

i seem to look forward to school everyday, haha i feel its a good thing la. btw i havent GAMED YET! i'm proud of myself actually. i'm determined to study hard and shine! come what may NAFA!! i'll take u on head on! here i come As!!

p.s ASHLEE, this is not philosophy and theory anymore. =p

2009-01-21T16:09:00.003+08:00

DECISIONS.

i guess i did messed up.

i guess i did falter.

i guess i got distracted.

i guess i ppl make mistakes.

i guess nobody is perfect.

i guess i chose You.

i guess i'm setting everything else aside.

i guess i do love You more than any other thing.

i guess i really do wanna do more.

i guess i made up my mind.

i guess its You i want.

i love you, Lord.

2009-01-18T01:15:00.002+08:00

Priority.

the reason i can overlook, oversee and overcome is because i have my priorities right.

2009-01-17T01:20:00.002+08:00

BUSY

its really busy now in sch, 2nd sem is really tons of work. like i said, i kicked gaming, this has GOT to work out. i'm so gonna be the head and not the tail. i'll EMERGE ABOVE!!

2009-01-14T01:45:00.002+08:00

Wrong thats right.

We, can never have the best of both worlds. i chose "by right".

As long as the narcissistic nature take over, it'll be alright.

2009-01-13T01:25:00.000+08:00

DENIM.

Denims are nice. especially on girls.

2009-01-12T00:29:00.005+08:00

Balance.

I'm happy in church.

I'm happy at home.

I'm happy with my friends.

I'm happy in W212.

But, i dun wanna mess all that up because of school work. i kicked gaming, i guess it'll work out.

Gambatte shaun lee! nothing you cant conquer.

2009-01-09T01:51:00.003+08:00

Narcissist.

after an earthquake, the first thing i'll do is to see if my clothes and hair is in place.

cheers!

2009-01-07T02:33:00.005+08:00

Humans.

(yes this is random)

Humans are never satisfied, unhappy with the happy, unhappier with the happier, seeking for thrills when its bored, seeking boredom when its too thrilling, seeking responsibility when they have none, shirking them when they have too much, getting married when they are single, getting divorced when they are married, yearns to grow up when they are young, yearns to stay young when they are grown up, slimming down when they are plump, slimming down further when they are skinny.

A human's life.

2008-12-28T01:05:00.002+08:00

PURPOSE.

The year is ending in 4 days. we will proceed to a whole new start, how exciting. the new challenges we will face, the new people that we'll meet, the new experiences we will have. exciting isn't it?

i'm thinking alot this days, the past 361 days. what i've done, who i've influenced, who i've helped, how an angel i've been or how a jerk i've been. indeed this year has been a roller-coaster ride for me, seeing my parents' relationship got from bad to worse and from worse to worst, getting out from my lowest point, trying my best to fight the temptations to use ways as short cuts to numb the pain in my heart. i also remembered the time i became a connect group leader, the time when jared told me and darwin to start doing more, the new friendships i made, the time i found out i was good at sewing(lol), there were good times and bad times but ultimately i came out of it stronger, better.

Definitely, i don't wanna stop here just yet. i know there's still more in store, i know there's lots of room for improvement. God oh God, i pray you never stop moulding me, i pray you never stop using me, for the little things and for the big things, i know there are times where i'm slack and lazy but its high time to change.

2009, the best year yet!

2008-12-21T03:19:00.002+08:00

SCARED!!!!

After reading D's blog, i think i wouldn't dare to mention the phrase smashing of cakes in front of her again.

P.S hey D, i was just kidding. you sounded SCARY. LOL

2008-12-12T01:04:00.003+08:00

*Smexy Me.

Pasta de Waraku, good FOOD! haha was out with D, darwin, edo, hikaru, han yong, fiona and the supposedly going GWEN(but was busy). we started off with dinner, ate ate ate ALOT. i was always asking them what were they gonna surprise me with. i was always trying to figure out their next move, it was funny really. then hikaru went to the toilet, i followed. when i was done, he was already gone, i went back to the seat and sat down, thats when they got me.

The waiter brought the cake in front of me and they celebrated my bday. it was a surprise, surprisingly, they gave me a bottle of corona extra. i was like wow, what a gift. then after they gave me a belt from messy with a japanese buckle. then i found out they still have gifts, so when we billed and left the place, edo passed me a bag and inside was a T shirt from Queen's couture! thanks DEB! when i tot it was all over, hikaru came and pass me a fossil watch with metallic strap!! even cooler la. i was indeed surprised but the presents, i was really very happy that they really took the effort to plan this whole thing out for me.

i was also really encouraged by the messages that were sent to me, they really told me how impt i was and how i influenced ppl. thanks again guys, i also wanna thank God! without him is without this family, without him is without this wonderful group of friends!

this year, i wish to be more disciplined, to be more focused, to be more responsible, to be more mature in my thinking, to love God more, to love people more and to grow TALLER. its been wonderful to see myself changing so much in this past 3 years in church and definitely, its the love of God and people that changed me!

thanks hikaru, edo , darwin and FREDDY. life will never be quiet with you. thanks gwen, fiona and D! life is never interesting without u girls. u are definitely my best SISTERS! not forgetting Jared, who always never fails to be there for me through thick or thin, thank you.

P.S i'm really ok with belated gifts, once again, i dun mind branded still. LOL :D

*smexy = sexy

2008-12-11T01:12:00.002+08:00

Wishlist.

i love Surprises, so..

top - S

waist 28-30

feet - 8

colours - red, black & white

i dun wear necklaces. THANKS. :D

P.S i dun mind branded. LOL

2008-12-08T04:05:00.002+08:00

IT IS NEAR.

i'm excited that it is near, im happy that it is near. callsmstagmsnfloodblesslove me on that day.

what it is?

read somewhere in the About Me section

<------------------ HERE

2008-11-25T23:09:00.002+08:00

Asia Conference.

i can only say, WoW.

the experiences,

the encounters,

the praises,

the worships,

the presences,

the words,

the revelations,

the preachers,

the songs,

the lyrics

it inspired me, it drove me to wanna do more, it made me want more of Him.

seeing what pastor is doing, i dun want to be a sitting duck. i want to do more.

2008-10-31T03:08:00.003+08:00

LOST.

MONT BLANC killed the friendship.

oh God, save us, me, everyone. :D

maintaining a friendship all by yourself is hard, esp when not everyone is willing to clap.

2008-10-15T01:30:00.002+08:00

God of all Ages.

why God of all Ages? cos now i need time, pst kong says whatever we praise him to be, he will be to us. homework, I'm clearing them, THANK GOD. previously it was really too much that i dunno where to start. as time went by, i worked under stress. cleared a bit now. slowly but surely, it will be done. its really a bad habit i brought over from secondary school, to drag and drag and drag. darn! well no use regretting now, lets go holy spirit!

Thoughts i had over the week,

1)when i meet God next time, i'll take off the armor of God and beneath it will be the scars and bruises that life brought me, but when you hear God saying "well done! my good and faithful servant!" in that instance, you know all those scars are worth it.

2) Would u please the Creator, or the created? many times ppl do things to please their left or rights. one extreme metaphor, u love this pot or vase that have been made, u want more of it. which one do u please? the potter or the pot? :D

3) a christian from Darwin's class told me that my blog posts spoke to her a lot and they encouraged her a fair bit. you will never know how your posts bout your life, rhema and experiences with God can impact someone in a way or another. but when you know u did somehow in a way or another. the only word to express yourself is "Hallelujah" !!

P.S sherie, thanks for letting me know, i too am encouraged. Cheers!! :D

2008-10-04T03:03:00.003+08:00

Sick of Singapore's style? Unique Designs? Reasonable Prices?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?! Come down to chinatown today! 3rd floor, above the hawker centre. its only for female clothing, their stock is from Hongkong. for special discount pls mention that u know shaun lee. will post pictures of how to go.

2008-10-02T04:35:00.002+08:00

Why?

hi, i realized i haven't been blogging. Bear with me, it will be long. I'll try to make it interesting.

Building Fund is coming ppl!! lol I'm so excited for it. i already have in mind how much i want to pledge, it's an amount i pledged last building fund but due to financial difficulties in my family i couldn't fulfill it. so this time round, I'm going to complete it and i believe God will provide for me Amen!! i love it whenever pastor say you may be poor but when u walk with God, you will never be poor all your life. AMEN!! i love this part.

Because it is so real in my life, like i mentioned previously my family had a financial difficulty and i was really tight in my pockets but now i just feel that wherever i go, I feel so blessed. these 6 months has been a really blessed period. my mum's financial situation started picking up, now all of a sudden the management of her workplace told her that they needed that space where her shop was. so she either had to leave or change location. by God's grace, she fled from that ghost town. now she's working for her friend, a basic pay every month and if business is good she will have commission. her income previously was always negative, not only did she not make any sales, she had to take out from her own. God turned the whole situation around!! PTL!

ok that's that. now ME! when i just came to church, my allowance was 480. that time i remembered clearly i only tithed 27 dollars. i cheated God, i felt so bad and convicted that i began tithing the correct amount. there was also once when i missed my tithe, partly because i wasn't managing my money well and i didn't have my priorities right. i prayed and felt forgiven, i became convicted to tithe on time and tithing first. through these experiences i learnt ALOT! now my allowance is more than 2 times the previous amount PTL! haha i believe its cause of my consistent tithing. not only that, the previous month is really a month of tremendous blessing. i got a burberry wallet from my aunt, burberry cologne from my mum. and last week, an iPHONE from my dad. haha its really blessings after blessings. Building Fund season is coming so i decided to share this to encourage ppl to give, hope you are encouraged. lol remember you will never be POOR all your life!

one last thing, i remember we sang once a praise song in church that really spoke to me, the chorus was something like :

No more running wild

I'm yours for life

Well you got me here

You got me

I hear your call tonight

Your heart is mine

Well you got me here

You got me

i think its really nice and meaningful. that it's God that got us here in church, that right from the start until now, it was never a coincidence. the friends we made, the situations we got into all contributed to us coming to church. so if God did so much for us to come to know him, surely we are going to be great men and women for Him. so therefore we must not waste His efforts and no more running wild, we're His for life. haha i just feel so relieved and at peace when i know He is my God. Everything we go through, even the tough situations are there for a reason. because His ways are higher, therefore we do not know why? Yi Lun my bible study teacher for FT1 and FT2 told us that Extraordinary people have Extraordinary trials, wow. logically, if the devil knows that you are going to do great things for God and save the ten thousand souls out there, surely he would wanna stop you, but of cos we know on the other hand, we have the king of kings on our side lol. he can flip the whole situation around, maybe you would get the ending you expected but there are things sometimes that when we will learn and never be forgotten, like becoming stronger, enlarged capacity, huge faith. who can steal this away from you?

are you encouraged in a way or another?

2008-09-21T02:20:00.003+08:00

The brain never stops.

Today i was out with my uncle and cousins (16,17,19) at orchard road, we had dinner at a japanese restaurant at cuppage plaza. it was delicious, partly cause it was JAPANESE and i'm in love with jap stuff.

Then we went shopping, we went centrepoint and heeren. at heeren, my uncle strongly persuaded(i'm not kidding, he was like buy ah this one looks nice. buy buy buy)16 to buy a fossil bag -.-, he unwillingly accepted it. then we went into tough jeans smith, my uncle went hey this belt is nice, got it for 19. then 19 was looking at wallets and my uncle strongly persuaded him to buy a purse for his gf, my aunt hung a bag on 19's shoulder and told him it looked great. again, partially unwillingly accepted it. 17 went into adidas, he was the sportiest so he got the latest pair of street scoccer shoes F5.

My uncle also asked me if i wanted a watch a few times when we were at centrepoint, fossil and tough. but i rejected, there were emporio armani ones and all but didn't look appealing to me, well i am picky when it comes to shopping.

Then he fetched me back, i was back in my humble temporary home. i thought to myself, wow what an experience, forced shopping. i wouldn't mind something like that. who wouldn't minding being rich, buying anything out there that catches their eye.

Back to my family, i can never afford the diamonds and pearls and Labels but one thing i can afford and that's treating my mum the best i know how. frankly she's all i have left and vice versa, i really only have a wish and that's for her to go to church with me, loving and serving the same God i'm loving and serving.

Cause you'll never know what will happen tomorrow, like how lehman brothers collapsed overnight. suddenly i feel, almost 18yrs of existence in this world, have the things i've done made an impact, inspired anyone, been a good testimony at home or glorified God in everything i do? help me o lord, change me o lord, mould me, teach me, use me, again.

2008-09-18T14:08:00.003+08:00

Be The ONE.

If more initiatives are taken, more people will be at ease.

If more boldness is shown, more people will be at ease.

If more faithfulness is shown, more people will be at ease.

If more accountability is shown, more people will be at ease.

If more teachability is shown, more people will be at ease.

If you are the one who stepped out, only you will not be at ease.

Why not be the ONE?

2008-09-14T01:50:00.002+08:00

Somebody.

I want to hate a somebody but i can't.

That somebody caused me my family.

That somebody stole my happiness.

That somebody rather put bread on another somebody's table.

That somebody is someone i loved.

That somebody is someone i respected.

That somebody doesn't have a good reputation.

That somebody upsets me.

That somebody will never come back.

That somebody is unfortunately closely related to me.

That somebody is somebody i would never want to grow up to be like.

2008-08-31T01:08:00.007+08:00

Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.

Thanks Mum. <3

o_o?

:O!

:O!!!

Thanks Auntie Doreen!! <3!!

Btw, Thanks God.

2008-08-28T02:27:00.003+08:00

Time.

I live in a busy world.

I found some time to relax.

I found out i couldn't.

I was hoping for the thoughts to slow down.

I couldn't help it but think.

I realized thoughts won't stop.

I thanked Him for a quick mind.

I thanked Him for good classmates.

I thanked Him for everything else.

I prayed that,

Everywhere i go, prospers.

Everywhere i go, i'm winsome.

Everything i touch, prospers.

Everything i say, be anointed.

Every task i do, be excellent.

Every decision i make, be Jesus conscious.

Every idea i have, be a God idea.

Every path i take, be God directed.

Every valley i go through, i'll be strong.

Every temptation that comes my way, i'll guard my heart.

Every time there's trouble, i'll seek you first.

Every time i'm tired, i'll lean on you.

Every time i feel like giving up, i'll run to you.

Every time there's a need, i'll meet it.

Every opportunity there is, i'll pray.

Everywhere you go, i'll follow.

Every time u say something, i'll obey.

Every time you move, i'll move.

Every second, i live for you.

Everything i give to you.

Everything i do, glorifies you.

Everything i pray, in Jesus Name, Amen.

2008-08-20T01:00:00.004+08:00

Wishlist.

P.S my birthday is 11th dec. :D

2008-08-14T20:16:00.003+08:00

BE GONE!! MY MOUNTAIN, OF HOMEWORK!!

I know i've been MIA-ing for quite sometime, lol i have homework, projects, stuff, stuff, stuff and more stuffs to do. thats why i'm neglecting this quite abit. come to think of it, its been a month since i started school already. i'm now used to school, my class and facing 20 girls at a go. i've been walking around town lately, researching bout fashion. u must be thinking, huh? how?

For example, how a shop looks? the shop front, whether the way they designed and arranged their stuff makes u wanna go in or not if you're shopping there for the first time. visual marketing, important! imagine u got the best clothes in town, reasonable prices but your shop didn't really look attractive, people from far will think eh lets go the other way. lol funny but real.

i really learn alot in school, ranging from fabrics to sewing to photoshop to drawing to communication skills, needless to say communication is my fav class. teaching u how to talk well and ways of talking. haha i gotta go do my work soon, LORD give me the creativity!!

God bless!!

2008-07-31T00:59:00.002+08:00

No Problemo.

"We know that all things work together for good to those who love God"

Amen!!

2008-07-27T08:04:00.002+08:00

I'm Back!!

he's recovered and back on track thanks to Him.

Amen!!

2008-07-24T01:02:00.005+08:00

The Unexpected.

"i feel i just fell from the 14th floor and slammed my face"

2008-07-22T01:13:00.004+08:00

The Day.

hi i bet some are anxious to to know about the first day in NAFA for Mr. Lee, i was early today. i went to class, was hoping that my class would have pretty and friendly people. we had introduction at first in the textile lesson, this was how i did mine.

Shaun : hi, I'm Shaun, I'm 18 this year and i was from St Andrews Secondary School.

Ruby : is that all?

Shaun : yup.

Ruby : that's all? from the only guy in the class?

Shaun : err..

Zena (classmate) : are you straight? (giggling)

Ruby : yea i think that's an important question for the girls in our class.

Shaun : err.. Definitely! <.<

Man.. it was awkward la. and yes being the only guy in the class, more weird -.-. like everything i do is so noticed, everything i wear, also matters. if there's a need for someone to hold the door, move the chairs or whatever gentleman thingy, i believed it'll be me lol. if I'm missing from class, the lecturer would just glance through the class and think, eh? today no guys? so Shaun is absent. haiz I'm so obvious in my class man. gotta ask God to make me blend well with the students there man, i dun wanna feel so weird!! maybe I'm in this kind of environment because of something i said long time ago.

Going back in time,

Shaun : kao.. school really super boring leh.

SA guys: ya lor.

Shaun : if only our school got girls, more fun la, should merge with some girls school.

SA guys: YA!! then not like prison liddat.

Shaun : or best, u go for exchange program, then you the only guy in the girls school. SHIOK!

-.- i think God hears everything we say lol. ahah but i know he put me there for a reason, no worries i will do my best to adapt! and i will still be STRAIGHT, so ya just keep praying for me.

Another thing bout today,

Charlene : Shaun, are u intimidated by the girls in our class?

Shaun : err.. Ya, abit.

lol God Bless!!

2008-07-21T00:14:00.010+08:00

The Reason.

My school is starting at 9 tomorrow. It stretches all the way till 6pm, first day and its so tiring. why am i still blogging at this time and not yet asleep is cos i just woke up, i slept at 4pm. so i just had my 8 hours of beauty sleep.

Bear with me, i have LOTS AND LOTS to tell.

Thinking of school tomorrow keeps me excited and i'm looking forward to be knowing new people and learning new stuffs! What's more exciting is after cell group on friday. it was a big cell group after a long time, we had praise, testimony, games and catering services! it was really good food, we had tofu, curry chicken, sweet & sour fish, bobo cha cha and many more!! there were many people there, many of them are Joel and Eric's friends. we had fun praising God and Yours Truly was the one saying my testimony, telling them bout how my gaming addiction used to take control over me and how i broke through from it. i was nervous and by God's grace i pulled it off and i believed i've impacted some hearts.

The games! Connect Groups Leaders are supposed to take it, my game was called " We name it, You have it!". it's like a scavenger hunt, it was really funny and everyone had lots of fun. the rest of the games were really interesting too, it showed our creativity in planning games. btw if some of u don't know, i was promoted to a connect group leader 3 weeks back!! PTL! PTL! i was really happy about it, to be able to help out in cg and to do more, tiring and stressful but worth it. after 2 yrs 6 months of attending the same cg, the same church then i begin to realize, hey i am like a pioneer in W212 man. i should be doing more, i shouldn't be slacking behind anymore. i believed its when i told God i wanna move on and prayed, fasted bout it and the breakthrough came. i started reading the Word more, fasting more, praying more, organize prayer meetings more. i decided to do all these because God told me that nothing is ever too late, even sometimes when we feel what we did is too much and we won't expect people to forgive us, his grace is sufficient for us amen!

I'm really thankful for W212, as i lay on my bed on friday night. i thought of all the fun times we had together. the different groups of people we have before in W212, we had our fun times and our stories to tell. Here are some Photos of old W212 and present W212 :

Not forgetting our all time favourite, my one and only CGL, JARED LIM!

We as a cell group, really went through alot together. Even if we go through harsh times, we would end STRONGER and CLOSER. W212 is not just made up of one Jared, a few people, or just the SA guys, but every one member counts. everyone plays a part, if 1 or 2 members isn't around, there is definitely a DIFFERENCE!. Thinking back, there were times i felt like giving up on God and just have time for myself and live only for myself, but every time i think of the times we had together, how God brought us all together, the goodness of Him and the Cg. i would persevere and press on and when i fall in love with God all over again, i knew i didn't make the wrong decision. the kingdom of God has too many things that the world can never give u, therefore to me, there is no reason for me to ever step out of his presence.

With this i'll end, that No one is ever anywhere by chance, everything was already planned before the foundations of this world, but the choice is yours for the making. See you soon! :)